And then I went out…

I was struggling for days because I cannot go out. I had a lot of chance to go last week but I can’t seem to have the reason and the energy to do so. My parents are out and my mother rang my boyfriend and asked him to come pick me up so I won’t be bored all day. Turns out he has a photography assignment. He can’t take a picture to save his life so I tried my best and here’s the outcome.

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(photoset: Third world problem)

What do you think guys? I know I’m not that good but it’s mobile photography so please forgive me. Haha 😀

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Update! Update!

Hi guys! I’ve been meaning to do a review but I haven’t finished a book for a couple of days for some reason that I think some of my friends here in WordPress already know. But, I want to make an update about the status of my bookishness, so, here it is!

First of all, I want to be honest that I am guilty of starting a book and stopping midway and picking up new one. The first few weeks of August has been an awesome reading time for me but I had some difficulties finishing a book for the past few days. Here are the books I owe bigtime because I haven’t finished them when I am supposed to.

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DUFF(Designated Ugly and Fat Friend) by Kody Keplinger

I am on page 70 and I think I am enjoying but I actually watched the movie last Wednesday and I liked it! But, it’s really far from what I’ve read. Should I still push through or not?

99 Days by Katie Cotugno

On page 88. Enjoying it so far but I really find the story slow-paced and very predictable. I mean, I tried reading How To Love before and I wasn’t able to finish it at all. I tried to get back to it but I really find myself not enjoying at all. This one’s better but still, I really want to finish it, but maybe not too soon. Patience, mah friend, patience.

The Map in The Attic by Jolyn Sharp

The least popular of the squad but I’d be honest that I am loving the feel of this investigatory book. It’s simple but I’m really looking forward to finishing it soon. I got it a year ago at a sale.

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

Okay, so don’t judge me. Yes, I am a Hobbit and LoTR fan but yes, I am guilty. I haven’t read the books so that makes me a hobbit fan(bad pun, I know) I’m still far from finishing because it entails focus and the right background music (haha) to be able to focus on everything. But, of course, it’s perfect!

All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

Rereading this book of emotions for the 3rd time and I am not ashamed of it. Finch foreveeeer! ❤

Okay, so there. I cannot promise that I will be able to finish all of the above but I will try. Will you help me decide which ones should I finish?

Next are my…

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Okay, so  this is kinda tough because I don’t usually set books to read since I don’t have much option but these are the books that I would probably read because I have them available.

Vanishing Girls by Oliver Lauren

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

Once Was Lost Sara Zarr

Between Us and The Moon by Rebecca Maizel

So, there! I have a lot of free days so I will be able to read for a while. Maybe, it’s a preparation because God has something in store for me. 😀

I’m hoping for the good 😉 And more books as well. ❤

’til next post. Buh-bye! :*

Made You Up by Francesca Zappia

Photo by Powerbooks

Photo by Powerbooks

Made You Up by Francesca Zappia

Year Published: 2015


Hi guys! Another review. Awesome! I actually had a hard time deciding what should I post but now we here! I actually read this book way back June, I think and I can say that it’s actually my 2nd favorite book of this year! The first one is All The Bright Places which you can find my review here. But today, we are going to tackle a little about this psychedelic covered words of awesome. Let’s go!

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Reality, it turns out, is often not what you perceive it to be—sometimes, there really is someone out to get you. Made You Up tells the story of Alex, a high school senior unable to tell the difference between real life and delusion. This is a compelling and provoking literary debut that will appeal to fans of Wes Anderson, Silver Linings Playbook, and Liar.

Alex fights a daily battle to figure out the difference between reality and delusion. Armed with a take-no-prisoners attitude, her camera, a Magic 8-Ball, and her only ally (her little sister), Alex wages a war against her schizophrenia, determined to stay sane long enough to get into college. She’s pretty optimistic about her chances until classes begin, and she runs into Miles. Didn’t she imagine him? Before she knows it, Alex is making friends, going to parties, falling in love, and experiencing all the usual rites of passage for teenagers. But Alex is used to being crazy. She’s not prepared for normal. (Goodreads)

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Two of the main characters are Alex and Miles.

 As what you’ve read (if you really read) Alex has schizophrenia and that means she is suffering from hallucinations and twisted versions of reality. As what the book’s blurb told us, she is not ready for normal. However, Alex don’t really appear to me as whiny or emotional like I thought she would be. She’s actually cool!

Miles on the other hand is not your typical heartthrob or Mr. Popular but boy, he is a genius! He is aloof and one thing that I found weird, but in an adorable way, is that he is afraid that no one would actually want to be his friend when it’s obvious that there are some who actually see him as one.

They met when Alex returned to school and then they had this club wherein they started hanging out (with a bunch of awesome others as well) and then things slowly started from there.

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Let me narrow down the things I like about this book:

It’s awesome in a way that it’s emotional but not dragging. It’s actually a feel-good book despite some of the parts wherein you will have no choice but to feel something.

The characters are real people. I mean they’re fictional but you can actually see that it’s possible to happen and there are are people with issues like that.

It’s hopeful. In the end it’s still about a girl with schizprenia.. schizoperenia.. wait lemme check.. schizophrenia, there. Haha! 😛

You can actually relate to them.

THE LOVE STORY!! ❤ THEY ARE THE CUTEST! IT’S NOT FORCED AND NOT TOO FAST. IT’S LIKE I WANNA SCREAM AT THEM TO ACTUALLY START HOOKING UP BUT THEN YOU REALIZE THAT THEY WILL EVENTUALLY, SO IT’S OKAY. Okay. Calm down.

What about the things I do not like:

I’m not really good at unreliable characters and Alex is one, so that should be the only issue for me.
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I read somewhere that the symptoms of Alex’s disorder aren’t really accurate and only pure imagination. But, I think it shouldn’t become a debate whether a story is well-written or not. What I’m saying is that, you read a book and you have to filter everything that you will believe one way or another or you will be bonkers in the end. You have to know that writing a story is one way of seeing reality and what I’ve learned is that, different people have different beliefs and that means different realities. I loved this book and I am proud of who wrote this. Maybe she did not write it for the sake of proving that how the book presented the disorder is real and this is how a person with it lives. Maybe, she wrote it because she wanted to say something that is beyond what words are written on the paper. In the end, we make our own decision if we believe what we believe.

Dear Diary #1

08/25/15 10:58PM

I read an article last night that you should not write a blog post if you’re mad or sad, and to be honest, I don’t want to spread negative vibes all around the web. So, I would like to say sorry if you will ever find yourself sad by this, or maybe, don’t read this at all. It might actually save you a lot of time and eye power.

I am so sad but I don’t know how to express it. There are too many problems in the world and my head is one of those. I am so depressed but I don’t show it. How hard is that? I am numb even to feel pain and I don’t think it’s normal anymore. I don’t know what to do with my life. I have a lot of ideas but they don’t seem to suffice, mostly, impossible. I think I reached my dead end. I want to help my family but I think I am starting to become a burden to them. I just really want to make them happy. I’ve been a pain in the ass for a long time now.

I used to have a lot of friends but now, I think I am always doing something to annoy them or they don’t want to spend time with me anymore. Why do I always feel like I am a burden to everyone I care about? I’m always afraid of talking to new people because I’m afraid I might say something that might offend them or I might act like I’m already an old friend.

I don’t know what I want to do in life. I feel so lost and I feel like I have wasted so much time, not to mention my parent’s resources.

Nothing good really happened today. Nothing bad happened either but I cannot trust myself anymore…

I bought a book by Virginia Woolf who happened to commit a suicide.

I bought a book by Virginia Woolf who happened to commit a suicide.

Hi guys!

I just started this blog 2 or 3 weeks from now and I have come to the fruition of my plans despite the fact that I am nowhere near popular. I just made a Facebook Like Page: Oleen reads and loves

And if you are interested you can just click the LIKE BUTTON and I will try to provide you with bookish posts that hopefully you will enjoy! Thanks! ❤

Live Now (Don’t die before your time)

I stumbled upon my old blog and I am re posting this today because I need to remind myself that I am alive. Maybe, you will, too. ❤

Inlove!

 

 We all have questions in our heads, questions that we sometimes find hard to answer, questions that we are afraid to know the answer. Usually, it is the latter. Like the question, “If you die now, what you’re life have became?”

 

As humans we have a tendency to clam up and just shut off our feelings because of fear. I recently had an experience of being out of place. It was during one of the latest youth gathering. My friends are having their own conversations while I was there sitting in a corner, feeling it would be better if the floor would just swallow me right there. I went home feeling dejected cursing the evening, vowing I won’t attend another youth gathering again. As I am writing this, I realized I was just sad during that time. Loneliness is not an enemy but what we do with it…

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All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven, My Favorite Book of 2015!

There is no doubt in my head on how much I love and appreciate this book. Besides the fact that Jennifer Niven and I are pals (we follow each other on IG and we’re friends on Facebook, no, just kidding, she’s just really friendly and nice with the bookish community.Tee-hee!) this book is really important to me.

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my picture

Hi guys! Today, I am going to follow a format I just made so we will be able to have neater experience while browsing my little blog 🙂


Genre: Young Adult

Year Published: 2015

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There’s this girl named Violet and a boy named Finch. Violet’s sister died of a car crash, Finch just wanted to die. Their lives collide when both of them went to the school bell tower thinking of the same thing-end their lives. Their little scene found its way into friendship. They had this assignment where they have to visit their hometown’s “natural wonders”. But Finch is a weirdo and he found ways to make this project more exciting by giving rules and not limiting the places they would visit.

They became comfortable with each other and they found solace and adventure every time they’re together. Violet’s world began to unravel again but Finch’s world became more suffocating.

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There are only two main characters whom I love. Violet Markey and Theodore Finch. Violet Markey wasn’t an outcast before her sister died but became one after the accident. She’s clearly an introvert because she prefers reading rather than partying, or maybe she’s just depressed. She had a lot of fears and one of that is driving again. She also cannot write because she’s always reminded of her deceased sister since they had a blog together. She’s pretty, curvaceous but not full of herself.

Meanwhile, there’s Finch, the resident weirdo, freak and you know it. Let me tell you how I find Finch hot! I have a thing for him, obviously. He has these crazy ideas about dying. He keeps track of ways he could die and documents it every day (hence the bell tower incident). He also have this habit of “changing personalities” depends on his mood, but Finch don’t do it just because he wants to. At the end of the book, someone talked to him and asked him if he knows about Bipolar Disorder, and maybe it’s safe to say that Theodore Finch is one.

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There are so many things I like about this book. As what I’ve said it’s my favorite book of 2015. I got it as soon as it was published and I regret nothing! I I love their luminous story. I love how it makes me cry just thinking about it and I love that I can see them clearly in my head while I’m reading and even after. They are so real in my head that sometimes, I don’t believe they’re fictional because they are already part of me.

What I don’t like about this book? Oh well. DO I HAVE TO SAY???

**SPOILER ALERT**

Finch died. And I will never get over it.


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So, let’s talk about them and how they left a crater on my chest. I just cannot accept the end, okay? I mean, the end is awesome, it’s hopeful, but what I meant is before that. It’s so depressing, I actually wasn’t able to go to university after I read it. I was crippled, I was pained! Jennifer Niven, you ruined my life right there, but I love you so much for giving us a glimpse of Finch and you don’t know how much I can relate to him. We should be aware that family should be the first and foremost source of support even though they cannot understand what they’re going through.  It’s a valid cry of help for those who are battling their own mind. People should not be afraid because we are also humans.

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Songs to Listen to: Let Me Love You (until you lean to love yourself)-Glee cover

Place to Read: Room because you will cry, bring tissue and ice cream

❤ ❤ Étienne St.Clair ❤ ❤ Anna and The French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins, Book and Story Review

First of all, I’m not a sucker for love stories. I actually suck at making one because, well, I’m a little pathetic when it comes to being sweet and all that. So, anyway, today we’ll be reviewing Anna and The French Kiss and we’ll see if it was able to squeeze the goose of sugar pops right out of my veins. Because unfortunately, my heart isn’t functioning for approx. 6 months already.

Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance

Date published: 2010

The cover, so lovely! (insert Cassie’s from Skin’s Engelish accent here)

How will I start? I mean, I tried reading this book a lot of times before(I think it’s been a year already) and I always stop after the first three chapters because I thought, it’s not my thing. So, last Wednesday night, I tried again and, well, we start from the bottom, now we here!

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Anna went to SOAP(School of America in Paris) because his father-an author of sappy stories, think Nicholas Sparks and all that- asked her to do so. At first Anna’s hesitant to leave her Atlanta friends and senior year just like that. But, little did she know. she will meet the gorgeous St. Clair and will become his best friend and they will try to hide their infatuation with each other. The strange thing is that St. Clair is in a relationship.. How did the story end? Well, you have to find out for yourself 😉 (actually the answer is below, so beware)

A&TFK is very romantic, light, full of scenic Paris, a must-have travel book and it’s so simple but you would love how the story turned out! Because humans, (especially girls) love cliches like that. It’s actually just the usual lovestory but an author cannot just add Paris and sexy English accent and not expect us to droooool! Okay, so Etienne may not be tall but let’s face it, he is so sensitive and smart and he’s just so perfect. I know a lot of people may disagree because technically he cheated on his girlfriend but hey, it adds on Anna’s value. HAHAHAH 😀 I also liked all the characters because of their distinction, you can actually imagine every scene and everything that happens in the story. I love the element of being there, like you are actually watching them or you’re actually part of their circle. I don’t know if others felt like that but I did. The progression of the story is smooth and I don’t think there are heightened moments really, but I did not really expect it. Anna is normal, no disorder here(sorry YA fans hihi). Maybe a little, about “being afraid to feel alone” but it’s acceptable. She loves movies and makes reviews on her blog. The book stated she’s pretty. BUT…….

The only thing I would complain about this book is its inability to describe Anna in a way that you will actually have the exact representation of her in your head. To be honest I cannot see her in my head, so I just thought that I AM ANNA! 😀 Okay, maybe every one wants to be Anna. A lot of people complained about the love triangle but, hey, it happens when you’re no longer happy in a relationship and it’s no longer working for the both parties.

All in all, I loved it! I heard

it’s a trilogy of sorts, I would try to get my hands on the next one. So, for now, happy reading guys!

Anyway, I saw these fanpic photos online and they are so endearing! I have to share ’em

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devianart.com

In the shower, we make decisions

            I confess, I am not the person I wanted to be.

            That statement is sad and hopeful all at the same.

            I’ve always been the “planner”, the “achiever” and the “odd” one. I wasn’t always like that and sadly I am starting to become the person I am before that.

             Little by little, I let go of my dreams, my to-do lists, my non-sense goals and I started living the dire world of my own making. I am stuck. Blame it on the hormones, the phase of depression or whatever chemical that’s still lingering inside my body.

             I am so tired of feeling tired all the time. I am so mad for being angry at the world and its inhabitants. I know it’s nobody’s fault we are here but this harmatia is killing me…

              Inside the shower I am naked. Inside the shower room I am washed clean. Of my own bitterness, admitting all of my shortsightedness. I am far-fetched. I am alone. I feel like I have nothing and no one to call my own.

               I must admit, I don’t want to be alone anymore. I need love-more love-than ever before. I don’t want to be desperate. I don’t want to let anyone know. I’m afraid they won’t get it. I’m afraid to find out I am nothing to them. That’s why, I push them all away.

                 I push them all away. But I don’t want to. I don’t want to.

Songs for the dead

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So, have you ever thought about how you would die? Like, will you die in a tragic accident or a heart attack? Or will you die in your sleep or will you have a long time to battle cancer before you finally say goodbye? I always remember the long nights I fought with my own thoughts and finally conclude that I would not see another sunrise. Absurd, isn’t it? I am only twenty-one. A lot of things ahead. If I would die, people would shake their pretty little heads and say, “There’s still a lot she can do, she’s too young.” But, is it really a waste? Or is it just the human fate? What is our destination? We are all born to die and we’re all just bidding our time.

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My head aches as I am writing this. I’m swimming with all the emotions that want to burst out and sparkle. But, they cannot. I cannot let them get the best of me. I was surrounded by people who are already in their old age. They look so marvelous and happy. I envy them. Will I grow old to be like that? Or will I die young? The thing is nobody knows. People created the idea that we will only live once. People are proclaiming an exact date of the world’s collapse, who should we blame? Who should we listen to? To be honest, both are proclaiming the same. I look at life and see that there is hope. And hope is as dangerous as fear, but hope is what keeps us alive and fear is what fuels hope, if you get what I mean. One cannot live without the other. Should we worry? Should we be afraid? I realized that as much as we want to take and make a difference, we already are different. We all have our own different paths, but we will end up in the same conclusion. Now, what’s to do with the time we are given? I don’t know, I’m still looking for my own answer.

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I sung for a crowd and they were singing back. I know, not for me but for The One who are making them happy. I feel happy too. I fear. I hope. And I know, there’s so much, so much more.