No Matter What…

2nd


“I got rejected. Again. I really wanted to get that job!”

Two weeks ago, that was my sentiment but last Tuesday, I received an unexpected call telling me that I am scheduled for an interview- a final interview! A battle fought but lost, but still God knows know how to surprise and take the ashes into something real and beautiful.

But before that, let me tell you what happened before and after that rejection.

While I on my way on the van, I started listening to Hillsong’s Empires album. Now, I must admit that I haven’t been very pleasant with my reactions (even towards God) for the past few months. I am still relearning how to walk hand in hand with Him.Going back, I was listening intently to the lyrics and calming myself for the coming onslaught. I was listening to this song Even When It Hurts not knowing that I am already taking the words to heart. I was praying and telling myself that no matter what the outcome will be, I will choose to praise and trust Him and not question why it has to happen. Again. To make the long story short, I got rejected. While on my way home, I was trying hard not to shed a tear but a few escaped while riding the bus (I know, drama queen, right?) I started listening to the same song again and closed my eyes and took the words all in. Right there, I started thanking God for the rejection, choosing to trust than to question. I went home with a major headache and still a sad heart, but after that day I moved on and tried to forget what happened. It still stings but it’s not burning anymore. The call arrived after 8 days and I’m not really sure how it happened. I was told that I failed and could come back after six months, but who am I to say “no”?

I believe that God taught me how to trust Him again even when things aren’t really making sense and to believe that His plans are much better than I would ever have. I am thankful for the tools that God is using to remind us that He is present and good even when we don’t see it. He never cease to amaze and manifest. An awesome God indeed. Worthy of praise even through the toughest times of our lives.

 

 “Even When It Hurts (Praise Song)”

Take this fainted heart
Take these tainted hands
Wash me in Your love
Come like grace again

Even when my strength is lost
I’ll praise You
Even when I have no song
I’ll praise You
Even when it’s hard to find the words
Louder then I’ll sing Your praise

I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise

Take this mountain weight
Take these ocean tears
Hold me through the trial
Come like hope again

Even when the fight seems lost
I’ll praise You
Even when it hurts like hell
I’ll praise You
Even when it makes no sense to sing
Louder then I’ll sing Your praise

I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise

And my heart burns only for You
You are all You are all I want
And my soul waits only for You
And I will sing till the morning has come

Lord my heart burns only for You
You are all You are all I want
And my soul waits only for You
And I will sing till the miracle comes

I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise

Even when the morning comes
I’ll praise You
Even when the fight is won
I’ll praise You
Even when my time on earth is done
Louder then I’ll sing your praise

I will only sing Your praise

Advertisements

Two Years and Beyond!

12695430_1231872590156121_511177471_o

 

More than two years ago, I met a guy whom I never thought would actually take me seriously. Yes, I am the type of girl who fancies nerdy guys. I like them because I know they can carry interesting conversations. Back when I was in highschool, those type of guys never even look at me. I am a bad-boy magnet. Guys with a reputation for being reckless or guys who are waaaay older than me- they are the ones who would always want to catch my attention. My dream of dating a smart guy vanished.

When I went back to college, I met this guy (he was still wearing contact lenses that time) whom I thought is kinda cute. I never thought that he’s been mesmerized (according to him) by me even before we actually met because I am so white(again, according to him). One day, he went to our classroom to borrow a lab gown. He said he’d just return it, but I found a problem: How will he contact me? So, I said he should get my number. (Well, I know, I’m sneaky LOL)

Things started from there and last February 03, 2016, we celebrated our second year anniversary! It’s our first time going out of town together since our parents are so strict. We were so happy and we had a very intimate conversation while lounging at the beach.

 

12669741_1231872623489451_672458815_o

I am so glad, I finally found someone I could love my whole life. I know we still got a long way to go, but this guy have seen me hit rock bottom and he never let me down even more. He would try to make me smile no matter how awkward he is when he does. I miss him even before we separate at the end of the day and I can’t get enough of his arms and smell. I know we’re still too young to settle down, but we are both willing to wait and work hard for that perfect timing. We trust God that He has brought us together to challenge and appreciate each other, and we are both thankful for that.

 

 

12669990_1231872556822791_964872976_o12669293_1231872606822786_63371141_o
Baby, I know loving someone like me is hard, I cannot promise I am worth it but I promise you that no matter how much we might try to hurt each other, I will always come back to you because you’ve made me feel at home just by looking at your smile.

The Year I Still Have No Clue What I’m Going To Do

1a37432c27df9200a7266fd68254598f

 

 

It’s the Chinese new year! Somehow a second new year to those who haven’t done any of their new years’s resolutions. Do I have any? I remember writing down some but I forgot where I wrote them in. 

I must admit that I haven’t done anything remarkable so far. I have new dogs if that counts but I must also admit that I haven’t enjoyed life as much as I do now!

I’m still jobless, but my family still supports me in all my decisions, trusting God that He has amazing plans for me. 

It’s already February, but one of my greatest feat is that I no longer worry whether I’m doing something fast. I worry about where I am putting my heart now. I’d rather be staying at home doing some chores without grumbling than working my ass out on a company who doesn’t value what I can do. I still hope and pray that He will direct me in a workplace where I will truly grow and won’t hinder my time for the Lord. 

To be honest, I don’t have any concrete plans yet. But it feels good to actually start from a new slate!

Also, I am loving the colors of the year that I incorporated them on my newly customized blog!